Going... going...

It's all going on here today.

The car was picked up around midday so we had to get a cab to the Paediatrician's for Owain's one-month check-up. For your information, he is 10 lbs 8 oz after a good poop.

Most recently, someone came round to look at the stuff that needs shipping. Remember the nursery...


...now it looks like this!


We're still in Tempe for a few hours longer. The flight to Washington is in the late evening. It's already delayed by 45 minutes. If it gets any later, we won't be able to pick up our rental car.

Did I miss anything? Oh yes, I've thrown all my flip-flops in the trash and lent my spare pair of gloves to Heather. She still claims she won't mind having weather again but reserves the right to complain at any point in the future.

Our hotel in Seattle has free wi-fi but I can't promise when I'll report in next, or where. It'll be from some happenin' coffee house full of shrinks and so-called gunge rockers, no doubt.

Sunday, the day of Video Games

The weather was cool enough today to do a bit of going outside for pleasure's sake. I, however, stayed inside and played Sonic and the Secret Rings for Wii. It's true to the Sonic formula: dshing along at breakneck speed and collecting as many gold rings as possible, but the controls are there for the sake of the Wii, rather than because they work best and much of the presentation is half-baked. The game's a lot of fun but totally put-downable and I'm glad I only rented it.

I have ordered the latest Zelda game on the DS which is due to arrive at the house some time this week. Wandering in to a shop on Friday, I found it playing on a display stand and got sucked in which was a HUGE mistake. I'm terrible at waiting for fun stuff to arrive in the post so now I'm getting frantic to get stuck in to it - like Joe and Cinnamon at dinner time.

There's really not much else to report unless you're interested in my efforts to learn SVG. (Hint: you're not.)

Slight Drizzle

This morning I was walking the dogs around the block when I noticed that rivulets had formed by the roadside. I tutted disapprovingly at the waste of precious desert tap water before I remembered that it had in fact rained this morning for a whole hour! I'd forgotten what roads look like after a downpour; it's normally so dry here.

Not so back in the good ol' U of K. It's wet there. It's been pissing down for weeks. Britain's up to its necks in what the marketing department has asked me to refer to as 'aqua'. It's clearly kicking-out time on a Friday night in the bit of heaven over the British Isles. Yes it's wet.

There have been suggestions that this punishment from above is actually, er, punishment from above. The Torygraph naturally thinks it's Gordon whose got God's divine back up. Meanwhile, in 'England's medieval town of Tewkesbury', some believe this is God being nice which makes me wonder just how medieval things are in Tewkesbury.

The truth is that books that are to blame for his holy wrath. The UK is a literary hell-mouth with a long tradition of pissing off the almighty in print. Whether it's Denis Wheatley, Jackie Collins or Salman Rushdie you can be sure that Britain's blasphemous book writers are the envy of the world. Take this concise book review:

"Harry Potter is an evil book intended to trick people into believing that witchcraft is pure fiction. This way they will be off their guard and will more readily begin experimenting with things like Dungeons and Dragons and the like. Rowling may have written those books, but she didn't author any of the HP books. The devil is the one and only author of those books. Rowling created HP by a process known as automatic writing which is a form of channeling. After each sessions she probably had carnival relations with him."

Guess we're all going to hell in a tea cup.

Very Very Frightening Me!

There was some more weather this evening! This time, I used Rob's old camera and took some movies from which I was able to grab these stills. Here's the best one:


And here's the movie:


This evening, we saw SiCKO, the fourth Michael Moore documentary film I've watched and probably his best so far. It's factually correct whilst being the most (arguably only) left-biased thing I've seen the whole time I've been here. It makes the NHS look amazing! It also reveals that Tony Benn is turning into my Dad! He has the same style of ranting, the same exaggerated mannerisms and even the failing fashion sense. I almost feel sorry for Hilary.

Thunderbolts and Lightening

It's monsoon season! It got here late this year but now that rain's pissing down for all it's worth.

The lightening's pretty frequent and Joe got all scared earlier and wouldn't let us put him down. He even wet himself, proving the idiom that it never rains.

After my success on July 4th, I thought I'd use my new tripod to see if I could catch some lightening on camera. Obviously that's not as easy to do but I figured that if I just kept clicking, I'd catch something. And look at the marvellous results!

Pah! And I missed The Colbert Report because the storm killed the satellite signal. :(

In other news, I'm having my biometrics captured! The letter arrived today and the appointment is early next month. The only things that might cause them to reschedule are 'open wounds or bandages/casts'. Guess I'll be showing up rough shaven.

Holiday Snaps

Presenting some pictures of our Holiday in Southern California! Technically it was a job hunting trip so if I ever get one (a job that is), I can deduct most of it from my income tax. Tidy!


I have always imagined that CA was especially hot and sunny. But because I'm living in the Phoenix area, I found the frequent clouds and two-digit temperatures to be a blessed relief. (It still could have been a little cooler for this whinging pommy who burned his feet on the concrete by the pool. Awwww!)

Heather got to catch up with a few of her old flatmates from her days in Orange. Some of the stories they had to tell about her were frankly scary, as were the photos.

I don't really want to say too much about the job interviews. I thought they went well. I usually judge these things by how enjoyable they are. In fact, I don't worry so much about the employment side of things. If I got to talk all nerdy about nerdy stuff with some nerds I usually find that the time was well spent. And time is on my side. Or at least time isn't flicking so many rubber bands at me this time around.

The day we got back, I received some receipts from the USCIS letting me know that my applications are in the pipeline. They are dated 1st of July and I'm told the work permit takes about three months which means that I'll likely be starting work at roughly the same time that the baby's due. Yikes!

We finally went to see Knocked Up yesterday. It was very funny and it rang true for this slightly bewildered father-to-be. However, I expected it to be funnier still. I only last week got 'round to seeing The 40 Year Old Virgin which is by the same director. It received a lot less hype and had me chuckling all the way through so the latest movie was a slight let down. The birth scene had Heather suitably terrified. I had to take her to see 1408 today to take her mind off it and it made her scream out loud! Result!

Cinco de Mayo

So sorry I've not posted for a while but I'm back in the Valley of the Sun and straight away house sitting for friends of Heather's who are on holiday in Costa Rica. They own a condo with a communal pool which is empty all day.

Did I say I was sorry? I lied.

I also at last got to meet Heather's best friend, Kristi and her youngest Isaiah. Heather looks at him with a mixture of adoration and barely stifled terror. I figure that this is about the right attitude for someone with a human parasite of her own growing inside her. Next week, we get to find out what sex it is. Heather is very excited. I'm dreading it because until now, there has been an amnesty on name-calling.

The journey to the USA went much as planned. The lady at immigration told me that it's impossible for me to apply for a marriage visa while I'm here. She wouldn't explain why, only pointing to a passage in the visa waiver small print which I've read a dozen times which states that I cannot change that status of my non-immigrant visa (something I don't have and don't intent to get). I tried to get her to explain but I failed.

I was further told that pretty-much everything that I'm doing is illegal but with no effort made to arrest me or otherwise act on this unjustified assertion. This is pretty much what I've been led to expect from accounts given elsewhere on the web; as in the UK, politicians want to sound tough on immigration for political reasons but have no choice but to welcome immigrants on sound economic grounds. That said, I'm going to bear it in mind when Heather and I begin the process of getting a visa following our marriage later this month. My suggestion of a drive-through Elvis affair in Vegas is currently winning through.

Today is the 5th of May. This is a Mexican piss-up celebrating the killing of some French dudes. Perhaps the French dudes made the mistake of using rubber bullets. These only make Mexicans more madderer. I shall endeavor to drink lots and report back.

Spring

All of a sudden, the garden has filled with birds. I had assumed that this was due to Mac turning the sprinkler on. However, Heather explains that it's the first day of spring which has some mystical connection to the fact that it's her birthday tomorrow...

Once upon a time, all was cold and barren - even in The Valley - and winter lasted forever meaning that it was only Christmas once ... ever. And everyone complained that it was a bit nippy. Then god sent the greatest gift of all - Heather - and the sun shone and joy returned to the world and everyone said that a cloud here or there might be nice because there's not enough shade and shares in flip-flops soared - especially around Christmas, which happened every year and lasted for a whole month.

... and thus it was that I ended up with 90 seconds of birdsong on my camera this afternoon. Realising that the movie featured more shake, wobble and blur than actual tweety pie, I decided that the only course of action (other than giving up drinking before breakfast) was to enter the perilous world of video editing.

I had a quick look at Kino which has a lot of appealing features but settled upon a package with the catchy title of Avidemux as it can read the AVI files produced by my camera (Fujufilm FinePix M603).

It's still a rather dry affair with little dialog and even less character development. Still, it's a start.


Please feel free to post any good recipes you have.

Dry

The Valley of the Sun is basically a very sunny desert. It's hot and dusty here and it's only spring. I have never lived anywhere so dry which has its good points.

Firstly, things dry off quickly - most notably clothes, dishes and hair. It might seem pretty obvious but I've been here two months and the novelty hasn't worn off yet.

In the garden the benefit of dryness(TM) can be seen in the speed at which garden waste transforms into tinder. On the way out the door going to the supermarket the other days, I saw some weeds and decided to uproot them and leave them on the drive. When I returned half an hour later, I walked over them and they crunched underfoot. HAHAHAHA!! DIE WEEDY SCUM!! Ahem.

Secondly, no mold! Initially, it's quite disconcerting to inspect each slice of bread for little blue/greed/white dots but then you realise you can't remember when you bought the loaf. I'm used to throwing the stuff out after a few days but nowadays, it lasts two weeks and I don't just mean for toast; it's still moist.

Last week, Heather and I were reminiscing about life in Guildford and it dawned on us that by now, the shower should have expanses of black growth at the edges. A year ago when we prepared to go on holiday to France, I took the suitcases out of the cupboard and found them covered in fungus. I don't miss those moments one little bit.

Mac's birthday went well. The photos which Heather and I took didn't come out too great but if you squint you can just about make out a gathering of bikers growing old disgracefully.

In other news Heather just called to tell me that she got a job at the Arizona Republic. Either she's referring to the newspaper or she isn't giving anything away...

Update: Heather has asked me to point out that her hair curls nicely and she's not too sweaty. (I think she's talking about the low humidity, not the birthday party.)

Creature comforts

I have internet already! I wasn't expecting that but my girlfriend sign up for broadband as a surprise for me. She really knows the way to a geek's heart!

The weather is really quite cold in Phoenix at the moment. I'd say it's on a par with October/November in the south of the UK but that doesn't begin to describe the difference in climate. It's incredibly dry here which means that I wake up so dehydrated that I feel like I've been out on the piss the night before and developed a monster hangover. This is incredibly unfair as I've not drunk very much at all so far. However, the weekend is looming which should remedy that little problem.

I came to visit for a couple of weeks late last year with the purpose of trying to figure out if I could live happily in Phoenix. Unfortunately the city is so unlike a city as I know it, that it's hard to size up. I'm told that the only thing you could call a city centre is a bunch of sky scrapers full of office workers. Tempe (the area I'm staying in) also has a centre but I've not seen it yet so it can't be that vital.

Anyway, in a bid to get some sort of impression of Phoenix and to do something completely out of the ordinary (for me anyway) I've booked tickets to see the local symphony orchestra play. Now why go to a desert town in the states to hear classical music played live when I've lived 50 minutes from London for the past ten years? Surely I should be hankering for a trip to a baseball game. (Can't wait for that BTW.) To be perfectly honest, I thought it might be a good excuse to wear a suit I bought last year but it turns out we're going casual 'cos this is the south west. I wonder if they sell chili dogs in the foyer...