Sorry. No baby photos today!

I've been jet-setting around the states this week and far too busy to hang out with babies - let alone my regular social circle of anthropologists and pretend dogs.

Before I moved to Americaland, I didn't know there was a difference between Washington DC and Washington State. Now I've visited both in the one week! Cities that I've only seen the airports of now include Salt Lake City and Minneapolis. Both look stunning from the air at one time of day or other. Can't say much more about them.

While in the air or waiting for flights, taxis or sleep, I've occupied myself with two main activities. Firstly, I've been making my way through yet another Zelda adventure on the DS. The Phantom Hourglass is the ideal game to while away the hours when you're packed into a fuselage full of other people's relatives.

My other portable distraction is programming on the laptop. I've been learning the basics of SVG which is basically a high-level web-friendly graphics format. I say web-friendly... as with most up-to-the-minute Internet technology, it hasn't found its way into Internet Explorer yet. Just about any other browser will run my project, Rocket, with some degree of success. (It can be run from Explorer with help but I need to look into that.)

I've only really been doing this project to further my knowledge of web scripting and out of sheer bloody-mindedness. I didn't expect it to further my career directly as the games industry is about lean, mean pixel-pushing. So imagine my surprise when, on the flight to Seattle, the guy in the row behind me asked if I was available to do part-time SVG work! Makes me glad I chose to give Zelda a rest!

Anyway, one way or another, my job hunting should not go on for very much longer. On Monday, my Mum arrives for a week-long visit to see her first grandchild. While she's here, we will probably pay a visit to Prescott and do a bit of shopping in the Valley. She has been burdened with the unenviable task of maintaining the website for the apartment in France so maybe we'll spend the week discussing the finer points of HTML and FTP and leave Heather to look after Owain. Does that sound likely?

International Day of Celebration

That's right, it was my birthday yesterday. I mostly got Scotch, three bottles in fact. This should keep me going up until Christmas (hint hint). I also got a money clip for the wads of Monopoly money I carry around with me, a US power cable for my laptop (so I don't electrify myself again) and Metroid Prime 3 for the Nintendo Wii.

I spent the weekend in Strawberry, mostly drinking whisky. I would have been playing my new game as well except I was had company so I had to be sociable instead. :( I've been playing it today and it seems worth of the name Metroid which is a Latin word describing a condition caused by playing too many video games. I'll race through the game and give my impressions of it at some point soon.

Today is the equivalent of a bank holiday in the States and Canada. Each of these extended weekends has a particular theme such as Martin Luther King Day or Memorial Day. Today is Labour Day which is basically May Day without the left-wing connotations. Communism as you may know is frowned upon in America and has largely been replaced by the Mafia and a shady organisation known as the Liberal Bias. Sadly I can't find the website for either of these organisations but they probably end in ".org".

In just a few days time, the Rugby World Cup begins. It's crept up on me this time around as I am no longer associate with rugger buggers and jocks of one sort or another who talk about it years before it happens. All of the Six Nations teams have made it into the final 20... Hooray! The same goes for the Tri-Nations... Bollocks!

The Americans are also in there which greatly increases the chances of seeing it on the telly somewhere. In particular, I'll find myself rooting for America for probably the first time ever in anything on Saturday when England's run of world cup luck finally runs out... GO THE EAGLES!!

Americana

The Rodeo was great fun. I think I would have preferred it much more if I was about a quarter of the age. Still, now I know that I've seen real cowboys and cowgirls doing what they do best: diving onto baby cows from a horse, racing round barrels and falling under the hooves of wild, pissed off bulls.

Here's a picture of two cowboys jumping on a baby cow that's been tied up by another two cowboys riding grown-up horses. Say what you like; it's still fairer than bullfighting.


Whiplash the monkey was a bit of a let down. He's basically strapped to a sheepdog that's being directed by a shepherd. Our simian friend supposedly performs the 'Indian hideaway', leaning fully to the side of his 'steed'. It looked more like he was trying to free himself. Think 'organ grinder meets One Man And His Dog' and I'm afraid you've got Whiplash.

As for the rodeo clown, this mirth-maestro specialises in politically charged, observational comedy. For example, one of his blasts involves the observation that Osama and Obama both start with an 'O'. Oh, how I cheered as the bull went for him!

Yesterday was the 4th of July, better known State-side as July 4th. Jim's efforts to find a nice spot from which to view Prescott's fireworks were scuppered when we were moved on by a curt motorcycle officer, charged with protecting us from spent rockets. I felt like a real wild-west outlaw, holding my empty Guinness can as I folded up the chairs.

We eventually found a government sanctioned vantage point on a sports field at Embry Riddle Aeronautical University where I managed to record images of the fireworks. Might I be the first of about ten thousand people to publish a nondescript movie of some 4th July fireworks on YouTube...

And here are some blurry pictures.

Being British, I wailed and gnashed my teeth throughout the whole humiliating spectacle.

Daniel's 28th Birthday

We're back in Prescott where it's all going on this week.

There's a craft fair here selling all forms of poorly conceived ornamentation. If your house is lacking in kokopellis or you've dropped your unbreakable crystal nail file on a hard surface then hurry on down to the Courthouse Square while stocks last.

Whiskey Row (a line of old bars opposite the square) was closed off on Saturday for live music by local acts. It reminded me of the gigs in Chepstow at the racecourse and down in The Dell with dozens of bored looking teenagers stood at the front of the stage, waiting for the local middle-aged rockers to play a song they actually recognised.

Yesterday was Daniel's birthday. We had breakfast at a friendly little cafe called Molly and Wally's, saw Live Free or Die Hard at the cinema and had dinner at Red Lobster. I think I've officially watch enough action movies to last me a lifetime now. I haven't had enough seafood however and can't wait to sample the restaurants in SoCal. (That's Southern California for those who know).

Tonight, we go to the Rodeo! In preparation, I'm getting tanked up on beer. I've forsaken my shorts and flip-flops for unsuitably hot jeans and boots and I'm ready to kick some shit! I'm looking forward to the mild scenes of animal cruelty and can't wait to cop an eyeful of the Rodeo queens (who look pretty convincing, judging by the promo pics). However, I'm most excited about seeing Whiplash - one of the worlds most talented (and oldest) cowboy monkeys. He's 20 years of age, rides a dog and herds sheep for a living. Go Whiplash!

More Birthdays

Last week:

We went to Fibber Magees on Tuesday to celebrate Heather's birthday by playing the pub quiz, only to find out that the quiz is on holiday. Stupid pretend pub! Here's a picture of excited H unwrapping a present from friend Jamie.

On Wednesday, we went to a restaurant called Aunt's Chilada's with Mac and Mary-Ellen. Aunt's Chilada's does Mexican food. The name sounds a lot like enchiladas which is a Mexican dish. This is not a coincidence. American's love starting businesses and they love bad puns. Hence there are some terrible puns out there on the streets.


Off to Prescott on Thursday for Jamie's birthday. (I'm guessing that June is when all the best parties are in Arizona.) As usual, I was discriminated against on grounds of my gender.

On Sunday we went in search of Thumb Butte. I'm not sure how close we got but the journey there was very scenic.

The best thing about America

So far, it's got to be the fact that I haven't heard the JCB song the whole time I've been here.

Dusgusted of Tempe

Well, the Phoenix Symphony certainly seem to know what they're doing. Trust me, I'm grade 3 piano and that guy they got in to do the Rachmaninoff is very fast. Just as fun was the bar we went to afterwards where the karaoke machine was running full tilt. It must have been gone 11pm but there was still a family around to walk out disgusted at drunk-guy-at-bar's excellent recall of Eminem lyrics.

I've also seen people walk out of the dreadful Primeval and I don't think it was because it was such a terrible film either. However my favourite disgusted American moment was during a screening of Borat in Prescott last year. The couple walked out at the end of the naked wrestling scene. That was a pretty long scene.

In all, I think that while Americans show a lot of promise at being appauled, outraged and sickened, they really ought to work on their execution some more.